乾县铁佛寺移动版

his Dhamma is to act with understanding.’

I agree with these words completely.

QUESTION: I have a friend who is always trying to convert me. I am not really interested in his religion and I have told him so but he won’t leave me alone.   What can I do?

ANSWER: The first thing you must understand is that this person is not really your friend. A true friend accepts you as you are and respects your wishes. I suspect that this  person  is  merely  pretending  to  be  your friend so  he  can convert you to  his religion. When people try to impose their will on you they are certainly not friends.

QUESTION: But he says he wants to share his religion with me.

ANSWER: To share your religion with others is a good thing, but I suggest that your friend doesn’t know the difference between sharing and imposing. If I have an apple and I offer you half and you accept my offer, then I have shared with you. But   if you say to me,  ‘Thank you, but I have already eaten,’  and I keep insisting that you take half the apple  until  you finally give  in  to  my  pressure,  this  can  hardly  be  called sharing.  People  like  your  ‘friend’  try  to  disguise  their  bad  behavior  by  calling  it ‘sharing’, ‘love’ or ‘witnessing.’ But by whatever name they call it, their behavior is still just rude, bad-mannered and selfish.

QUESTION: So how can I stop him?

ANSWER:  It  is  simple.  Firstly,  be  clear  in  your  mind  what  you  want.  Secondly, clearly and briefly tell him so. Thirdly, when he asks you questions like    ‘What  is your belief on this matter,’ or ‘Why don’t you wish to come to the meeting with me,’ clearly,  politely  and  persistently  repeat  your  first  statement.  ‘Thank  you  for  the invitation but I would rather not come.’

‘Why not? ’

‘That is really my business. I would rather not come.’

‘There will be many interesting people there.’

‘I am sure there will be but I would rather not come.’

‘I am inviting you because I care about you.’

‘I am glad you care about me but I would rather not come.’

If you clearly, patiently and persistently repeat yourself and refuse to allow him to get you involved in a discussion, he will eventually give up. It is a shame that you have

to do this, but it is very important for people to learn that they cannot impose their beliefs or wishes upon others.

QUESTION: Should Buddhists try to share the Dhamma with others?

ANSWER: Yes, they should. If people ask you about Buddhism, tell them. You can even tell them about the Buddha's teachings without their asking. But if, by either their words or their actions, they let you know that they are not interested, accept that and respect their wishes. It is also important to remember that you let people know about the  Dhamma  far  more  effectively through your actions than through preaching to them. Show people the Dhamma by always being considerate, kind, tolerant,  patient,  upright  and  honest.  Let  the  Dhamma  shine  forth  through  your speech and actions. If each of us, you and I, know the Dhamma thoroughly, practice it fully, and share it generously with others, we can be of great benefit to ourselves and others also. (责任编辑：admin)